Sikhuphula istofu noDkt Thabile Mthembu

UKUSHAYA indlwabu kuyinto ejwayelekile, futhi engenabungozi uma yenziwa ngendlela ehlelekile. Maningi amagama okubizwa ngayo indlwabu: abanye bathi bafinyisa ikhehla, abanye bathi bashaya i-plumbing. Konke lokhu kusho ukuzidlalisa uwedwa, ukuze ufinyelele kuvuthondaba.

Le ndlela kayinankinga uma uthanda ukuzithokozisa, inkinga iqala uma usuphazamiseka empilweni, omunye agcine ezivalela njalo egunjini lokulala, ukuze azithokozise, acikeke lapho evakashelwa ngoba uyaphazamiseka. Uma ubona ukuthi le ndlela yokuzijabulisa isiyaphuma esandleni, kumele uxoxisane nodokotela.

Nakhu okumele ukuqaphele:
1. Umthelela emzimbeni
• Ukuyocuka kwesikhumba sesitho sangasese – ukuyocuka kwesikhumba, ukuvuvukala noma ukulimala ngenxa yokuphindaphinda ngokweqile.
• Ukuphazamiseka uma sekumele uvukelwe – abanye abantu bangaqala ukuthola ubunzima bokuvukelwa noma ukuzigcina bevukelwe ngesikhathi sebesocansini nabalingani (i-porn-induced erectile dysfunction).
• Ukuphazamiseka kokulala – uma ushaya indlwabu kakhulu, ungagcina uba nenkinga yokulala kahle.
• Ukukhathala komzimba – ukushaya indlwabu ngokweqile kungaqeda amandla, kukukhathaze futhi kwenze uzizwe udiniwe njalo.

2. Umthelela engqondweni
• Ukuncika ngokomqondo (psychological dependence) – umuntu angase azizwe edinga njalo ukwenza indlwabu, ukuze athole ukududuzeka noma aphunyuke ezinkingeni.
• Ukukhathazeka ngocansi (sexual anxiety) – abanye bangazithola sebekhathazeka uma bengakwazi ukushaya indlwabu, noma beqhathanisa nabakubuka kuma-video ocansi (pornography).
• Ukwehla kokuthokoza ocansini nomlingani – uma umzimba sewujwayele uhlobo olulodwa lokuvuswa, kungaba nzima ukujabulela ucansi olujwayelekile.

3. Umthelela ebudlelwaneni
• Ukwehla kothando lokwenza ucansi nomlingani - umlingani angazizwa sengathi akakwenelisi noma akekho nawe ngokomoya.
• Ukungqubuzana kwezothando – imfihlo nge-masturbation ingalimaza ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni.

4. Umthelela emsebenzini nasempilweni jikelele
• Kungalahleka isikhathi uma umuntu echitha esiningi eshaya indlwabu - lokhu kungaphazamisa umsebenzi, isikole noma isikhathi nomndeni.
• Ukuncipha kokuzimisela - abantu abaningi bakubika ngokuzizwa bengasazimisele empilweni yabo, nasezintweni abazikhonzile

Okubalulekile Ukukukhumbula
• Ukushaya indlwabu akuyona inkinga uma kwenziwa ngendlela ekahle, hhayi njalo.
• Izinkinga zivela lapho sekuqala ukuphazamisa impilo yomuntu yonke (ukulala, umsebenzi nobudlelwano).

* Uma uzwa sengathi kawusakwazi ukuzilawula, xhumana nochwepheshe wezempilo noma i-sex therapist, ukuze uthole usizo.